June 2, 2020 is my 20th Birthday — as an artist!

20 years ago, on June second, I moved to Hawaii to housesit for my friend Sarah — and, more importantly, to become the artist I’d always wanted to be.

Long story, short, I’d wanted to draw, paint, and sculpt — to be an ARTIST, all my life, but …

a very wet beginning for a new painting

I was afraid.

I was afraid I wasn’t good enough. I was afraid I wouldn’t be able to make a living making art. I was afraid no one would want my paintings. I was afraid I wouldn’t have anything to say with my art. I was afraid whatever I said wouldn’t matter.

I have moments, hours, sometimes even days of feeling like I have something to contribute. And I have moments, hours, and days of feeling that I don’t.

I believe this is all part of being human. Though our reasons may vary, we all have days of great joy and days of great despair.

Writing and painting allow me to sort out my feelings and find a purpose for my life. We all want to feel that our life has meaning.

We’re all weary of these COVID times. There are lots of reasons to feel tired, worn out, exhausted, you name it. AND this is a marathon, not a sprint.

I don’t know about you, but I’ve never even been tempted to sign up to run a marathon!

The painting continues to emerge

Yet here we are, living in a marathon.

One way to make this easier on ourselves is to Stop Complaining.

Rather than commiserating and compounding our pain through sharing, we can look for and find things to be grateful for.

We can retain our power rather than giving it away to the complaint we’re about to make.

Complaining can be a way to sneak out of our responsibility to take care of ourselves.

Instead of complaining, look for ways to feel better about what is — or for ways to make what is better.

This space between the cone and the sphere is essential for the degree of movement needed

No! It’s not an easy fix.

Yes! It takes work to shift our habits of thought.

AND we can do this!

As it sinks into our brains that the world is fundamentally changing, that the sands are shifting beneath our feet, it’s up to each of us to learn new ways to balance ourselves out.

There is no going back, there’s no back to go back to!

Writing in my journal and painting are the ways I meditate. I recently sat to “meditate meditate” for five minutes and “received” the image of a dog chasing its tail. Could this is what it looks like to chase one’s shadow — or to be chased by our shadow self?

We all have a shadow self. It’s is the part of us that we don’t see or don’t want to admit we have. Like the dark side of the moon, it remains a mystery until we become aware of it enough to embark on a “personal shadow adventure.”

Learning to recognize when our shadow self is active can dramatically impact our lives.

Before painting, I sketch the idea. It’s important to know that it all fits on the page!

“That which we do not bring to consciousness appears in our lives as fate.” ~ Carl Jung

If our shadow self snaps at others when we’re cranky or annoyed and we become aware that’s what’s happening, we might be able to soften our responses — or apologize once we realize it’s happened.

There’s more that I don’t know about shadow selves than I do know. Lately, it keeps coming up in my awareness in the form of questions.

We’re each unique — and there’s a “boat-load” of unique individuals on Earth today. I believe we’re here for a reason, and the reason must be HUGE! Why else would there be so many of us?

If only we knew why! The reason could lie in the shadow self of our collective consciousness.

Last autumn, I awoke to a booming (I MEAN BOOMING!) voice in my head saying,

“EVERYTHING CHANGES!”

It scared me. I had NO idea what it meant. Of course, everything changes, everything always changes!

We often think we know what’s happening, or what to expect next, but we don’t know. We live with a false sense of security.

I’m no psychiatrist. I’m an introspective artist consciously choosing to make friends with my shadow self.

Is the shadow self the one who stops us from moving forward when we feel fear or shame?

Is it as simple (and mean) as the “inner critic”? The one who wakes us up at night to berate us for something we did or didn’t do the day before?

Is the shadow self the part that thinks we have to be perfect before we share our work with the world?

Is the shadow the part of us that thinks we DON’T have anything worth sharing?

Is the shadow self the one who “flies off the handle” when we’re frustrated?

“Who’s Pulling the Strings?” — You, Your Shadow, or the Great Unknown? Do you notice anything different between this photo and the previous photo?

For now, let’s make friends with the shadow as best we can and continue asking questions.

Stress takes a toll, even on the most positive among us. Have you found a new rhythm to your life yet?

Each day is an adventure; my moods fluctuate roller-coaster style all day long.

A new painting begins

Until recently, our daily habits sustained us. We might need new habits.

Physical habits like brushing our teeth are a must and are so ingrained we’re not in danger of losing them.

It’s time to cultivate habits that help maintain our emotional & mental health.

We are our thoughts and feelings, as much, maybe more than we are our physical bodies.

We’re being reminded to wash our hands more than ever (and that’s a good thing); it’s time to start “washing our thoughts” — or at least to be aware of them.

Feelings come from somewhere. It’s often the mental chatter going on in the background of our mind that triggers our emotions.

I think you can guess who this will be

“What were you thinking?” (I heard Mom’s voice as I typed that phrase.)

Seriously, what were you thinking just now? It can be helpful to pay attention to our thoughts.

“Monkey Mind” refers to the crazy thoughts that wake us up in the middle of the night, feeding our worries and fears.

It might be easy to push fears aside when we’re awake, but the monkeys come out to play when our defenses are down. Trying to rein in Monkey Mind in the middle of the night is fruitless. Nighttime is not the time to calm fears or tame thoughts.

What if the simple act of mentally acknowledging our fears during the day kept the monkeys off our backs and out of our heads at night?

Watching our thoughts and acknowledging our emotions during the day is a habit to be cultivated at any age. Set a timer to go off at random times and ask yourself what you were thinking when it goes off. Apps like “Mood Meter” make it even easier.

Was your last thought helpful?

Did it make you feel good or bad in the moment?

Was it a thought that you want to repeat to yourself?

Studies show that we have thousands of thoughts a day, that we repeat up to 95% of them from one day to the next, and that up to 80% of our thoughts are negative.

Thoughts gain momentum.

Are your thoughts taking you to a happy place or to the dumps?

Mental Hygiene might take extra time in the beginning, but each time you catch yourself in a troubling thought, you’re on the path to mental clarity.

It’s easier to rein in negative thoughts before they’re stampeding full-steam ahead. The more we do it, the easier it gets. We seem to have time to start this work now.

Albert is available as in 11x14 matted prints, email patrice@artofaloha.com

Think Better Thoughts. Rinse, Repeat.

Thoughts Feed Fear or Thoughts Feed Love.

Choose Your Thoughts Wisely.

I didn’t grow up in a family that “hugged.” Well, maybe Grandma and the Aunts hugged, but well, at best that felt weird.

Hugging was something I picked up when I went to college in the ‘70s — hugging was “big” then.

I moved about 150 miles away from home to go to the UW-Madison (Go Badgers!). I loved living in Madison. I lived there until I moved to Honolulu 20 years ago. By the time I moved to Hawaii, my family had gotten used to giving and receiving hugs.

SARK (Susan Ariel Rainbow Kennedy) introduced me to Self-hugs when I studied with her in 2016.

For the most part, my moods during the pandemic have been pretty good — fluctuating between “pookie” and feeling really happy several times throughout each day.

This is what “Pookie” looks like.

One day, I felt so happy that I felt guilty. Fortunately, when a friend said my happiness was like a gift for her, my guilt vanished.

Sometimes, especially when feeling isolated, giving yourself a great big hug and pretending that you’re hugging someone too far away can be a substitute until the next time you meet.

What if it’s possible to send virtual hugs to those you love just by projecting love to them while hugging yourself — truly hugging yourself.

Who’s to say it’s not?

Are you ready for a hug?

Open your arms wide and wrap them around yourself. Stretch to put your hands all the way around your body, with one arm on top of the other. Try to touch your back, that’s how far you want to reach your arms.

Now squeeze — HUG! Kiss your shoulders for extra sweetness.

Then rewrap your hands around your body with the opposite arm on top of the other.

You’ve just given yourself a double hug and received the benefits of a hug.

Do hugs have benefits? You bet!

Hugs can soothe you if you’re feeling stressed. Your blood pressure can go down, and you can momentarily forget your woes.

Hugs allow your body to release oxytocin into your bloodstream. That’s the natural hormone also known as the “happy hormone.”

Hugs can help strengthen your immune system by creating white blood cells.

One day we might be able to freely hug again. Until then, Hug Yourself!

I hope you’ll let Hugging Yourself become a regular part of your self-love.

(To watch me draw these illustrations, go to https://www.facebook.com/PatriceArtOfAloha/ and scroll to the video. Then give yourself another HUG!)